Lunatic Parade 104
by gabriel ricard
Summary: From the moronic mastermind behind the FF7 series, MST3K: 1100 and more comes the latest and quite possibly the stupidest episode of Lunatic Parade yet! with special guests Scott Baio and Stephanie Swift?! And will a certain character come out of the clos


Lunatic Parade-104 

Lunatic Parade-104

Written by Gabe Ricard

Here we go with another fun filled episode of Lunatic Parade…ideas for fics are coming I slow other then the two big projects I'm working on, so I thought another of these stupid things were in order. If you need a good visual aid, just think of Space Ghost. In a nutshell, Ronfar is Moltron, Jen is Zorack, Hiro is well…that's a mystery and the others are just there. Let's enjoy!  


Hiro: Welcome everyone to the Hiro show! Ba da da da da da! It's the Hiro show starring me! I'm Hiro! It's the Hiro showwww and-

Ruby: Let's never do that again

Hiro: Awww

Lucia: I thought it was clever

Ruby: You would…

Lucia: What are you saying Ruby?

Ronfar: (In the control room) That Lucia's as smart as a bag of dull nails?

Lucia: Shut up Ronfar!  
Hiro: Actually Lucia…Ruby makes a valid point

Lucia: What?!

Ruby: I bet you couldn't even pass my homemade IQ test!

Lucia: You're on! Bring it to me

Ruby: What's the magic wooooorddddd?

Lucia: Chinese food

Ruby: There we go, (flies off and returns with a book and a pen. Drops them in Lucia's lap)

Hiro: So, who's our guest tonight?

Jen: How am I supposed to know?

Hiro: I thought you had the downflow…

Jen: I never said that!  
Hiro: Does anyone know who our guest is?!

Ruby: (Lands on Hiro's shoulder) Stephanie Swift

Hiro: Who's that?

Ruby: (Groans and whispers in Hiro's ear)

Hiro: What's porn?

Ruby: (Rolls her eyes) Ronfar…show him

(TV screen comes down, and a scene starts up)

PLEASE STAND BY…

(Five minutes later)

Hiro: WOW!!! HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN AROUND?!?!

Jen: Ummm…since the beginning of time

Hiro: Amazing! So when's this Stephanie stopping by

Ruby: I just found out she's not coming

Hiro: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! (Falls on his desk and sobs hysterically for eleven seconds. Regains composure immediately thereafter) Why not?

Ruby: Apparently, someone here has had a RESTRAINING ORDER filed on them by Miss Swift

Hiro: Ronfar you nimrod!

Ruby: Actually it wasn't Ronfar

Hiro: Leo you nimrod!  
Ruby: Leo's-

Leo: (Walks by) No I'm not!

Hiro: So, who is it?

Ruby: Jean

Jean: EEK!

Hiro: Jean? Why?

Ruby: I wonder…

Hiro: Jean's a-

Jean: So what if I'm gay! Who cares?!

Hiro: Geez…I was just going to say you're a closet porn fan

Ronfar: Jean's gay?!

Ruby: And she plays the Irish piano!

Hiro: Wow…do we have a replacement guest?

Ruby: Well there's Scott Baio rummaging through our garbage outside the building. I could bring him in

Hiro: Make it so! (Ruby flies off)

Lemina: (Suddenly appearing) anyone need a wallet to be stolen? (Notices Jean) Hi…Jean

Jean: Hello…Lemina

Ronfar: Oh…my…. God…

Jean: Not a word Ronfar!

Ronfar: Okay, okay…just one question

Jean: Shoot

Ronfar: Since you like chicks…do you just look at yourself naked in the mirror all the time?

Jean: ….Hiro?

Hiro: Yes Ellen?

Jean: (Glares) I'd like five minutes to kill Ronfar

Hiro: Two

Jean: Deal…coming Lemina?

Lemina: Not with you…

Jean: I meant to go kill Ronfar

Lemina: Oh…yeah sure (The two head off with knives and steel chairs)

Ronfar: Time to make my getaway (Turns to leave and stop) Where's the door?

Hiro: Remember when I told you about that button that would make the door disappear long enough for assassins to find you and do bad things to you? And you said not to do it and I said 'okay'?

Ronfar: Uh…yeah

Hiro: Well I lied

Ronfar: Oh well…I'm not giving you my DVD copy of Steel Magnolias!

Hiro: Leo loaned me his copy

Ronfar: Damn…(door flings open to reveal Lemina and Jean bearing weapons) Jean! Lemina! Hi! 

Hiro: (Watches Ronfar die) This is better then chairman of the board!  
(Ruby returns with Scott Baio)

Lucia: I GIVE UP I CAN'T DO THIS TEST!!!

Ruby: It's a very simple IQ test Lucia

Lucia: BUT ALL THE QUESTIONS ARE ABOUT BACON!?!

Ruby: Lucia…that's only the first half…turn to the other half

Lucia: (Flips to the second half, reads in silence for a moment) 2000 QUESTIONS ABOUT FISH?!? ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! (Throws the book at Ruby, nailing her and sending her flying off camera and straight through the wall)

Scott: Charlesssss in charrrgeeeeee-

Hiro: Quiet you

Scott: No!  
Hiro: Fine! DRAGON KING SLICEEEEEEE!!!! (Kills Scott Baio)

Lucia: That's not your move

Hiro: Shhhh no one has to know

Nall: (Walks in) Mail…All that came was this letter for Hiro (Throws him the letter. Looks down at Scott Baio as Hiro opens the letter) Hey…is that the skull of Scott Baio?

Lucia: Yes

Nall: Sweet! Can I have it?

Lucia: What's in it for me?

Nall: Cheez-Its?

Lucia: Sounds good

Nall: A great addition to my demi celebrity skull collection! I have Michael Bolton, Don Johnson, Monica Lewinsky, and the Taco Bell dog!

Lucia: So it was YOU who stole that dogs skull from me!  
Nall: Ummm…no

Lucia: DIE!! (chases Nall who runs like hell)

Hiro: GAME ARTS IS PREPARING A LAWSUIT?!?!?!?!

(Back in Ronfar's control room)

Jean: That was fun

Lemina: Yeah

Jean: What do you say we go back to my house for some hot, steamy lesbian sex

Lemina: Ummm…no

Jean: How about Pac Man?

Lemina: Hell yeah! (The two walk off)  


End.

These things never seem to get better. Plug time…while you're here I'd love you all forever if you checked out say…my Halloween fic, the all new FF7 special to kick off season two, and to keep an eye open for two novellas that should be popping up in a month or so. Thanks for reading as always and be sure to let me know what you think.


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